The Hist War I: Unused Salvation
by Elixir Phoenix
Summary: Erin K starts to tell her story. She tells how she was when she was young and how she became a Nomer. Dedicated to Rachel H! Dear friend and fan of Erin K!
1. Prologue: The Campfire

"Fuck!" I yelled at Qui-Gon Jinn and he shook his head.

"That was NOT the right thing to say to the ambassadors." He said and started to fix the fire. The logs were from the trees by the lake that Oyja, the Karma of Fire, had been confirmed a Tenju. I saw no importance in this since the Tenju were long gone. "The ambassadors deserved more respect from you and you didn't help King Llorak by your actions."

"Fuck Nire. I told him not to allow me to become a diplomat, but he seems to have this… insane idea that I would be good at it." I said and spread my wings. I was partially proud of my silver wings that were outlined in gold. I do not mean the color gold, I mean actually gold! Hell, I could've had it real silver also but I didn't want that. Gold was more impressive to me.

"You would be good at it if you would take the time to think before you act." He replied and looked up as Nire and Oyja arrived. Qui-Gon quickly stood up and bowed to them. Nire was wearing his usual choice of gold robes with white fur on the edges; Oyja was wearing the Karma of Fire uniform which was red robes with golden runes. "Welcome, Llorak and Oyja."

"How are the two humans?" I asked mischievously. "Oyja, you're not thinking of changing gender or species again, are you? I think being in the form of a Hutt would be a huge improvement to your present form."

"Erin, you realize the only reason you are here is because of Jash." She said and glared at me. "I would think you would pay more attention to that fact."

"I do." I said and brought my wings back down again. "That is why I haven't tried to fuck your small penis friend."

Nire sighed. "I am King Llorak, K, and must I always remind you of that fact?" He waved his hand. "I assume that you'll allow us to enjoy the night in peace?"

"Yes!" I said, jumping up and down in joy. "I have the most magnificent story planned!"

"It better not be another one of your prostitute stories." Nuin growled as he came up. He was wearing the blue robes with sea green runes, the uniform for the Karma of Water. "I must admit that I tired of them before you even began. Every time we're together you have to list all the men you did."

"But, you must admit, they get better as I became a Nomer." I said and clapped my hands in joy.

Nuin rolled his eyes and looked at the fire that Qui-Gon had started. Nuin sighed. "I would help but my element is water." He told Qui-Gon. "A sort of ban on fire; makes my blood boil each time."

"I understand." Qui-Gon replied and looked at me. "Would you mind lending me a hand with this fire, Erin?"

"I'll help you with a fire elsewhere." I said and put on a big grin. Qui-Gon shook his head. "Come on, you know your penis needs to see some action."

"It might, but there are only so many times you can literally light mine on fire before I tire of it." He then went back to work at the fire as I walked around. I saw Kwyn come riding on a cloud of dirt. I know he'd call it a cloud of earth but I didn't care what the fuck he wanted to called it. It was a cloud of dirt to me with maybe some shit in it.

I waved at Kwyn and he sighed. He landed a little distance away from me as though he didn't want to be near me. I can't claim the position as most annoying, that would belong to Vorn, but I can claim that people don't like to be near me. I can't figure out why. The sun was setting and Qui-Gon had finally gotten the fire to a large blaze. Everyone sat down around it.

"We were told you would have a story." Kwyn said harshly. "I think any of your stories can boil down to a single sentence."

I looked at him and his brown robes with grey runes. "Not all my stories are about fucking." I stood up and protested. "Though those are some of my best." I paused for a moment. "The point being that I can tell some stories that aren't solely based around fucking, though it does play a part." At this a few people gave sighs. "I know that my history has always been kept in the dark and none of you have questioned it. I don't fucking care why you don't ask, I don't like telling it. All my history is not one joke that could be told only once and you would know all about me. That would be one shitty past, more shitty than the one I am about to reveal to you." I held out both my hands. "Here are the hands that fucked the Dark Lord of the Night and Mizak; here are the hands that helped create Jash; here are the hands that killed millions; and here are the hands that brought healing to all." I put my hands to my sides.

I heard some hurried footsteps and saw Lorvic running. His white robes with silver runes fluttered behind him. "Sorry I'm late." He said and bowed to Nire. "I was caught up-Erin! Are you seriously telling a story? Are you sure it's appropriate for the King?"

"I assured him that this story is important." Qui-Gon replied. "Karma of Air, you should sit down and listen."

"No. No. No." Lorvic said and laughed, waving his arms around wildly. "You remember what happened last time she told a story around me? I started to change uncontrollably because of shock! Do you remember what I did because I couldn't concentrate?"

"I promise you that I have found it appropriate for Llorak's ears." Qui-Gon said. "It will be good for yours too. I promise you won't end up changing into three people with two having sex and the other one murdering them."

Lorvic sighed and sat down. He glared at me and I shrugged, feeling it was more important to get on with the story.

I looked up. "I hope that Jash's spirit will be with me tonight." I said. "And not only her spirit but also Josh's and all the ones who helped me become who I am today."

Author's Note: I realize that the contents might make you back away from the story. I must warn you that it doesn't get cleaner; I'm being true to Erin's character. I will not try and claim it's because of artistic reasons for her character. The real reason of her character is for me to hang loose. I need some fun and a reason to relax. I don't write to make friends, I write because that's what I do. I promise a good storyline and interesting characters but the faint of heart (or young people whose parent's would be pissed if they saw you reading this) to back away now.


	2. Chapter 1 Runaway

I threw down the cup onto my floor. The brown carpet tore the cup apart. Fuck it all! Damn it all to hell! Why the fuck did these things always happen to me? My parents might've heard the cup break, but I didn't give a damn anymore. My body hadn't been that weak before, at least not when I was out having a good fuck. I rubbed my shoulder and felt the bones breaking yet again.

"What do you want?" I yelled at the ceiling while imagining it was my doom. It was part of the prison that surrounded me. "What do you want? Why do you torture me? Why not kill me so I can go to the real fucking hell? What game are you playing at, God? What makes you see fit to just throw me around?"

I looked at the desk that was white with a big mirror. It was covered with papers and school books that remained unused. School was not for me; I preferred murdering and fucking. School just got in the way of those things. I walked barefoot on the shattered glass of the cup. I only felt the pain as pinpricks not to be considered, they were just bits of dust. "If you think this should be my hell I will not stand it." I hissed quietly. "I do not have to stay here. This does not have to be my home. Nowhere will be my home now but what I can find at night. In someone's bed where they will be dead in the fucking morning."

My blood started to coat the floor but my skin healed up with the glass turning into skin. I had never understood this but it had been helpful. It was slow to heal but it worked well in the situations I found myself in again and again. I took out a suitcase from my closet and put it on my bed that had no sheets. I opened the suitcase and went to get my clothing. I didn't care if my family saw me leaving or not. I was getting the hell out of here, something I should've done long ago.

I turned and saw a bird fly by. It was a blue jay and I felt a longing to fly away also. I hurried up and after the clothes I didn't know what else to pack. I wouldn't take any food, I could find that on my own, but I knew I was missing something. I already had my wallet in a pocket in my jeans. I had packed some sweaters that my mother had bought me. Godammit! Why the fuck did I have to be so damn sentimental? Was I going to start to learn how to waltz? God, please say no. I wanted to live on the streets and not be put up by society's damn rules.

I threw out my sweaters and they made a soft plop on the floor that seemed to call out anger. I didn't care what happened now. I was not going to get so damn sentimental that I would forget about leaving. Leaving had to be the most important thing now because I couldn't stand it here. I looked out of the window onto the calm street. Houses were lined up and they were all so calm, but probably had their own little hells that were hidden from view; hells that you couldn't find unless you were looking for them.

I put magazines in and folders with papers that I couldn't leave behind. I looked at the suitcase. "Motherfucker!" I yelled and took out a backpack. I transferred most of the things from my suitcase to my backpack, cussing all the time. I acted like I was going on a vacation. A fine fucking sight I'd make if I went running away with a suitcase!

Where was my mind going? Was I losing it all? I didn't want to stay at my home because society told me to, I wanted to stay here because I felt like I should. No one did I truly have a relationship with here. And who needed one anyway? Would I be myself if mushy bullshit spilled out of my mouth? I would lose part of myself and I preferred being independent. I looked at a picture of a boy that I briefly had an affair with before I found out he had AIDS. I was amazed when I didn't get it but also glad, one less thing to worry about.

I sighed as I realized that I had to pick out the pair of shoes I'd wear for the rest of my life, the last pair of shoes I'd ever wear. I went into my closet and looked through them and saw a pair of sneakers. They had a little bit of blood on them which made me sigh. I would wear something that would make me a murder suspect of a murder that I didn't commit. I wanted to be blamed for one of the many horrid things I did commit. I put the shoes on as well as a pair of pure white socks. Luckily there was room for the small dagger.

I finished packing and walked downstairs. I looked down and saw Mom at the bottom. "Erin, the police just called about you." She said. "Where were you last night?"

"Why the fuck do you care?" I asked. "I was out having fun like kids are supposed to. Isn't childhood this bright light in everyone's eyes? A time where adults are supposed to look back in nostalgia?"

"What have I told you about holding your tongue?" Mom asked worriedly. "You're going to run into trouble one day with that attitude."

"I murdered the guy after we fucked." I said to her horrified face. "What? You don't like the truth? You think I like the truth? My hands are covered in blood and I'm glad! If I wasn't I would fall into complete misery!"

"You should fall into misery then!" She yelled at me. "You should feel for your victims! We taught you better than this! You should respect your elders!"

"If my 'elders' showed any respect for me I'd do the same for them." I said and then took out the dagger. The expression on her face made her look like she had been dead for millennia and was still dying. "Just allow me out now. I don't care for family; I can live on my own. You fucking people have this damn idea that locking people up is a good idea. You call this place a home but I call it a hell. I'm never myself here, always a mask. You may love me but I don't care. Just let me out!"

Mom backed away but I knew she would get the phone and call the police. The best thing to do was kill her, but I felt something holding me back. It was not cold and calculating, but caring and tender. I saw a figure of a woman in white that seemed to be more of cloud than anything else. Parts of her seemed to waver and reach out to me. I felt some fear from seeing this image, but the woman seemed more than what she appeared to be. I dropped the dagger and then the woman wasn't there.

I looked back up at Mom and quickly picked the dagger up again. "Don't you dare think of getting the police here." I said. "I don't want any bullshit; just let me out of this fucking house." With that she moved away from the door and I quickly went out of the house. I breathed in the fresh air as I looked around. I was finally free from my cell and now nothing would hold me back.

I looked up at my house that was pure white and I was the purest black that had been a disease in it. I looked back at the door and knew that I was walking out on my past. My bones were breaking and repairing themselves, but I didn't notice this. I was so used to it and my mind was more on the nerve I had shown, the bullshit I had said wasn't true…or maybe it was. Who the fuck was that woman?

I walked out from the porch of my house onto the sidewalk. Images of the future came to me and that damn woman kept on appearing in my mind. Who the fuck was she?

Author's Note: I'm going to have to check over again how much she cusses. If you want to know how I am when I'm angry…That's how Erin is acting now; except I don't have a dagger. Damn, knew I was missing something.


	3. Chapter 2 Savior

"Stay still." He said and looked at my leg. "You have to stop jumping off of buildings. Your odd healing powers can save you, but I think you're overdoing it."

I groaned. "Damn you, Josh," I growled. "Why the fuck do you have to tell me to heed caution? I ran away from home, I think I don't care much about fucking caution!" I banged my hands on the wooden table which adorned the small kitchen. The moonlight shone through the windows onto the sink, the tiled floor, and finally to the table.

"If you plan to survive without me, you better heed caution." He replied and held up my leg. "I think if I hold it this way for an hour you'll be healed enough to walk to the couch with some help."

"Why didn't you become a fucking doctor, again?" I asked.

"Because," Josh replied. "I have a much better artistic talent and wanted to spend my days drawing. Let's just wait until I move you to the couch and I'll show you my latest creation. It's not fully done yet, but at least it's something. I haven't been able to fully get to work on it since you seem to want to be on the Most Wanted list."

"I'm sorry, _sir_," I said mockingly to him. "But I actually want to live and not stay safe."

"Staying safe doesn't mean you're holed up." He replied and looked at my leg. I thought I heard him start to speak but I was more focused on other things. "Come on, let's move." I stood up on my right leg and leaned on him. He took me out of the kitchen, into the hallway, and into a room with a couch, a chair, and a small TV. He put me gently onto the couch. "Can't you look after yourself for once?"

"What do you mean I don't look after myself?" I asked. "I look after myself perfectly. I'm not dead yet."

Josh sighed and looked at me. "If it weren't for me, you'd have been long gone by now." He shook his head. "You'd have been safer at your own house. Let your parents deal with your bloodlust."

I looked at him and sneered. "Yes, it's safer to stay holed up." I said. "And Mom will take me back when I threatened to kill her. You can't change the past. I sentenced my life to that outside of my family and now have no connections."

"You can get back, the past is not solid." Josh said. "There are some things that can be redone." He put one hand up and went out of the room. It was a good thing that he was out of here, now I could actually think. I was glad he was here but I was angry at how he thought he could control me.

I felt my bones starting to come together again. I groaned as bones grew into bones, it took all my control not to twist around on the couch. My bones could heal but it was an extremely long and painful process. I hoped Josh was going to get a cast for my leg; I didn't want to heal all on my own. Fuck, I was depending on others when I thought I would never need to again. Why did this happen to me?

I heard footsteps coming and turned to see Josh. "I hope I didn't keep you waiting long." He said and walked to the front of the couch. He held a sketch of eyes. Some of the eyes were set in faces while others were set in no discernable pattern. "I'm working on my creation part by part. You know the story where a man built another man cell by cell?" I shook my head in confusion. "Well, I'm building my creation part by part."

I waved my hands. "So this one fucking loony convinced you to become a damn fucking loony yourself?" I asked. "How can you get any crazier? Let me guess, you want to create something also."

Josh laughed loudly. "For artistic reasons only." He replied. "I want this creation to be perfection itself. I want it to ring with glory and fly over imagination." He sat the sketches down on a chair. He looked at it and smiled. "If you've never created something to call your own, I doubt you're feeling what I'm feeling now."

"What?" I asked. "I can't call you a lunatic because I'm not in your 'group'? I can call you a damn lunatic if I want to. I can say whatever I want to!" My face then twisted into agony for a few seconds. "I wish this agony would just stop! I don't deserve to be tortured like this. Why? Is God punishing me for some wrong I've committed? I haven't done anything wrong…that I can remember."

Josh sighed yet again. "You have done wrong even if you're not brave enough to admit it." He walked over to me. "I don't know where I'm going to get you another cast. I think I've made my friend suspicious enough. Can't you lie low for a little while? Remember how we met?"

I rolled my eyes. "What a lovely tale that is." Was my reply and I looked at him. "We met when you decided to get up and about, shall we say? You saw me get into a fight with someone else and tried to stop it. You failed and I saved you. You were ever so gracious to me for saving you that you took me home. Really, you can just let me loose now and I'll never return here again."

"If I remember correctly," He said. "That a few days later you returned here, asking for my help."

"Come on!" I yelled at him. "It's not like it was anything serious. There was just a little storm coming through and I needed a place to stay."

"Yes, and you haven't left since." Josh smiled. "It's highly amusing that you pretend to want to leave, and yet you have never left even when you had the chance. Can't you just admit to yourself that you want a home? That you want somewhere to belong to?"

"Go to hell." I replied.

Author's Note: Lovely Erin, lovely. The story I make a reference to DOES exist, I just can't remember who wrote it or what it was called. It was important that Josh gets introduced, as you'll see later.


End file.
